roz

Roz's final questions: This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic).” Can the reader accurately fill in the missing information? This story reveals that there are a few people living in a city that doesn't allow them to live to their full potential. I think you had a great start with setting up the storyline. It sounds like you have a very detailed plot and I think you could really get somewhere with it. However, at the end of the short version, it feels like the story just cuts off. Instead of feeling like an entire story, it seems like only the first chapter. I think you should try to expand the end of the story and give it more of a finish, or have less of a buildup in the beginning. The buildup prepares the reader for a good long story, but it comes up short. What was really missing was where they got to at the end of their voyage. I think it would be important to include that information to make your story seem complete. Try not to think of your story in terms of pages but in terms of the events going on in the story.

Hi, thanks for the feedback. I was wondering if you read the longer unfinished version, and if you did if you had any ideas on how I could end that one without writing waaaay too much. Everyone I've talked to so far has liked that one better, but it needs an ending. Thanks! 