bryce

Andi hadn't always made her own clothes. As a matter of fact it wasn't until her mom had her eighth child until she even had to learn how to sew. Andi's family had never even been that poor. She would never be able to go back the way she use to live, would she? She use to have everyone stare at her when she walked down the hall. She use to have a house that was perfect for parties on the weekends. She use to have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. But, that was all in her past now. Now she lives in Greenfield, Alabama with her mom and seven brothers. After her dad past away eight years ago, they moved away from Washington because her mom found a really good job. Obviously that job wasn't good enough for eight children and one parent. That's where Andi comes in. She cooks, cleans, and makes every ones clothes in her family. Once she finished her senior year here in Greenfield, she didn't have time to go to college, she had to stick around and help her family. Ever since Andi moved, she hadn't been social at all. She never got out of the house, unless it was to buy groceries, fabric, or thread. One Saturday, like any other Saturday, Andi went to the grocery store. There were many fliers on the automatic glass door as usual, but this week, there was one that caught her eye. It was a laminated piece of paper with not very much writing on it, but many, almost too many, designs around it. Andi starts to read the flyer but only got in two sentences before the man standing behind her cleared his throat for her to get out of the way, so she walked inside the store without looking back. Normally, Andi grabbed a cart and started putting in items without looking at her list, as if it came second nature to her. She couldn't even concentrate on shopping, all she could think about was what was on that sign. The only two lines that she read were saying "DO YOU NEED MONEY, FAST? THE AMERICAN VOCALIST CORP. IS HOLDING A COMPETITION FOR MALES AND FEMALES OVER THE AGE OF 16." Andi used to love singing. She used to sing everywhere she went. That was until she moved. She never even got out anymore. But this really had her thinking. She would never do it, but maybe she could just watch. At least that gave her a good excuse to see when and where it was. As fast as she could, Andi got the groceries they would need for this weeks dinner. The second after she checked out, she hurried over to the door she came in through. Not too obviously, Andi glanced behind her at the flyer. She couldn’t read all of it, but she could make out that it was going to be at the town’s convention center next Saturday at two. Andi went home and unpacked the groceries and started dinner. The next day Andi went back to the grocery store to get the phone number. She didn’t want people looking at her while she got it, because she was very paranoid. When she got there she pretended like she was just going to get groceries, and walked in slow enough to memorize the phone number. Right when she got it she turned around, not caring that people were staring wondering why she didn’t even go inside. Andi jumped inside her car and jotted the number down on her hand. She really wanted to call it, but also didn’t want people to know what she was doing. When she got home and her mom asked her where she’d been, she said she needed to get some fresh air, then ran back to her room and dialed in the phone number. She hesitated to hit the call button, but made herself do it. It rang exactly three times before a lady with a high-pitched voice answered. "Hello. May I direct your call?" Andi paused for about three seconds before she could finally speek. "Uuummm..... I was just calling..umm...about the..umm...singing contest." "Oh right! hold one moment." the lady said. Andi waited what seemed like forever, when somebody else was suddenly on the phone. Without even saying hello, he asked for her name. So, she told him it was Andi. Then he started asking her a lot of other information like: What's you address? What's your home phone? What's your cell phone? As usual, she answered them truthfully. After she got through all of the questions, he told her to come to the town's convention center at two this Saturday. Andi said ok, and hung up before he could say any more. Two days flew by faster than ever. It was now Saturday, ten o'clock A.M. As she had the last two days, Andi "went for a drive" and practiced her song where no one could hear her. At last it was time to go to the convention center. When she got there, there were more people there than she excpected. There were so many different life styles of people that Andi had never noticed people living like, probably because she never got out. She went to the front desk, trying to follow the person in front of her, and got a number. The lady sitting at the desk told her it would be about thirty minutes before she would get to go sing in front of the judges. As casual as possible, Andi went and sat down in the big waiting room. You could tell this used to be a doctors office, mainly by the way it smelled, but also from the wall paper. It was a faded blue color with bones and stethoscopes all over it. Staring at the wall of bones and stethoscopes got Andi thinking about when she was young and went to the doctor. She could remember one time when she had to get her flu shot, and she was very afraid of needles, so she went in the bathroom and pretended like she was sick so she wouldn't have to get it. It turned out, her mom just came in there and told her that if she got he flu shot, then she would buy her a prize. It worked! Out of nowhere, a loud voice came from behind the window, "85? Number 85?" Suddenly Andi remembered her number was 86. Now she was panicking. She meant to be practicing while she was waiting, but she got so carried away in flash backs. As fast as she could she ran through the words of her song in her head. It seemed like it had been a whole two seconds when the same lady yelled, "86? 86?" Andi jumped from her chair and stepped toward the window. "You can come through that door over there" the lady said as she pointed to the door a few feet from the window. Andi went through the door and down the hallway. There was only one door, so she wasn't confused about where to go. As soon as she opened the door she saw the judges sitting right across the room from her. On the far left side was a colored man, kind of bigger than the other two people. To the right of him sat a lady. She was very pretty, with long, curly, mahogany colored hair. Right beside her was another man. This guy was not colored, more slinder, and had black hair. She stepped up closer to them, onto the brown, hard wood floor. The lady in the middle said"So, your name is...Andi?" "Yes!" said Andi. Then the lady said, "Go ahead and start your song." Andi cleared her throat and started singing //The Star Spangled Banner.// At this point in her life, Andi could sing it in her sleep, that's why she chose this song. She was very good singer, but her nerves were acting up, and she forgot the second line. She was panicking again. At first she stared at the judges for a few seconds wide eyed. Finally, she asked if she could restart. Surprisingly, they had no problem with it. So, Andi started again, this time she got every single word perfect. Now it was time for the judges to give her feed back. The man on the far end started. At first, he said "I'll just come out and tell you. You're an amazing singer!" Andi's heart was thumping so loud, she almost knew for a fact that the judges could hear it. She then told him thank you and looked at the lady in the middle. She seemed to agree with the last guy and said that Andi could hit her notes very well. Andi was thinking, two out of three judges think she did good so far. Now she had to hear what the last one had to say. She looked at him with worry in her eyes. He started laughing and said " You know.....you are a really good singer!" Andi jumped up and down she was so happy to hear that. Then she told all of them thank you and left. She came out of the door with a big smile on her face and as she passed the window, the lady told her that if she won, then she would get a call around six o'clock. When she got home she decided to tell her family. After she told them, they were mad that she didn't tell them before, but they were really happy that she entered the contest because they knew that she was a really good singer. After dinner every one gathered around in the living room to watch TV. They kept three phones in there just in case they got the call. It was five fifty-five. Every one was nervous now, even though they all tried to act strong. By six o'five no one had called. Just when everyone started to relax, the phone rang. Andi ran to it and answered it before anyone could even think about it. "You won!" said a soft voice. Andi started screeming as soon as she heard the words. Her whole family could already tell what the news was. "You need to come collect your one hundred thousand dollars in cash!" Andi froze with excitement. She knew there was a money prize but she wasn't expecting one hundred thousand dollars! She quickly hung the phone up and told her family the good news, even though they could already tell that she had won. The next day, first thing in the morning, she drove to the convention center and picked up her cash. This was great, now, she had the money now to fix everything, but Andi had her own idea of what to do with the money! She didn't want her family to have to live how they were any longer, and now, she could do something about it! She went straight home and told her family they were going shopping. They went to the mall and Andi told them to pick out what ever they wanted, no matter what the price. After three hours at the mall, each member of her family had at least five new outfits! Andi and her family, thought through how much money they had left, and they decided they really needed a new house. Their house has been in there family for, as far as they know, three generations. The stairs had fell through twice, the water has leaked five times, and thats only part of the damage. So they were on the hunt for a house! They searched neighborhood after neighbor hood, until they stumbled upon the most gorgeous house they have ever seen. It was two stories high, with a basement, so they would have plenty of room. Also, it had a rap around porch. That was definitely the right one! Her life was almost perfect again. All she needed now were the people that she loved to be with her, the people from Washington!

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what do you think about it so far? Is anything confusing to you?? Or is there sothing you think I should add?

HEY. This is really good. I really like the story! The only changes i made were a few gramatical changes, so now i think its all good. But maybe in the ending you can make it so that she supports her family with the money that she earned by buying new clothing..or spending the money on a nice family vacation or something. But other than that..its a really great story :)