Mari's+Zero+Draft

zero draft who: -main character girl -new girl -relatives -aunt and uncle -cousins -kids at school -kids who give character hard time -kids who befriend the character where: -hawaii -school -comes from kentucky what: -decides to move to get a better education -comes on own, without parents/family -lives with aunty and uncle -goes to school, trying to adapt to the new culture -some kids make fun of her because she is different -she is also struggling in school because it is more difficult -she also misses her family and hometown -thinks of moving back because it might be easier -talks with younger cousin -cousin tells her what her mom always says -dont give up when the going gets tough -things always work out in the end, you just have to hang in there long enough -decides to go stay, and tough it out -someone finally befriends her, and volunteers to tutor her -she realizes that her young cousin was right, she shouldn't give up

Feedback Questions: - Is my story original, yet believable? _ - Is there a clear conflict? _ - Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Does the reader maintain interest? _ - Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? _ - Does the story flow clearly and logically?

//Mari, your story seemed somewhat believable, but why did she move to Hawaii, couldn't she have just gone to a different school in Kentucky? (add additional info about why) Your story kind of reminded me of the movie "Ice Princess" from the disney channel, but still almost completely different.//