elise

Zero Draft

Rough Draft

Rough Draft 2

Final

Hi, Elise, it's Noah. Amazing story! You had great word choice and really described things well. Definitely. I think the plot was very original and the story was quite beliveable. It really sounds like you know what you're talking about and the way you describe New York is really realistic. - **Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Does the reader maintain interest?** There is definitely tension an suspense in the second half of your story, but I wonder if you could do anything to make the beginning half more suspenseful. Overall, though, the story does maintain the reader's interest very well. The resolution overall is satisfying, but I think the last line could foreshadow what is ahead more (e.g. hope, despair, etc.). Also, you might want to end with a bigger concept like dreams or hope. Still, GREAT story.
 * - Is my story original, yet believable?**
 * - Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?**