jamie

My story is a little on the crazy side and it took me a while to come up with. :P Please comment on my story help me improve on it. Thanks :) This story is about a girl named Lisa who goes into a wierd world. She needs to go back to her room and finish her english report that is due tomorrow. In order to get back to her world, she needs to confront the Riddle Man.

Lisa was up all night trying to finish a paper for English. She had a long day and was too exausted to finish her paper. The smell of the room was very musty and it added to her headache. She looked at the clock up above her desk. It was already 10:30. "It's past ten already?! But I got half a paper left to write!" All the lights in the house were off, so Lisa knew that she was the only one awake. Lisa had to keep her voice down so that she wouldn't wake her parents up. //I don't know what to write, the paper is due tomorrow! I should at least get some soda to keep me up.// Lisa got up from her desk and slowly walked towards the door. Her feet were a bit wobbly and she did feel dizzy. She was wearing light blue pajamas with a picture of a cloud on the right side of her shirt. Her pants went all the way down to her toes so it was hard to walk. As she opened the door, she didn't see the same old corner that led to the hallway. She saw something very bizarre and very surprising. The was a wide, open field green, lush grass. The sky was vibrant in colors. Pink, Peach, Lemony clouds floated in the air. The water was purple from the cloud's reflections. There were squirrels, rabbits wandering around the trees that were bunched together like flowers. There were grapes hanging from the trees and falling to the ground. Lisa was in awe as she entered this new world. Before she set her feet on the grass, she rolled up her pants so they wouldn't get dirty. "When did this place appear?" She walked towards the tree and saw a pile of grapes surrounding it. It's been hours since she had something to eat so she tried to pick up a grape and eat one. But they started to roll down the hill and into the water. Finally, she caught a very plump and juicy grape. She was very hungry so she tried to take a bite. "Please, stop! Don't eat me!" Lisa looked around to hear where the voice was coming from. She looked very carefully at the grape in her hand. "Are you talking? To me?" she asked the grape. "Please don't eat me. I'm still so young and I haven't even grown. Please spare my life, I have so much to live for." //Am I going crazy? Is this grape even talking? I think I need more sleep.// "I don't think I'm hungry for a grape. I should just go back to my room and finish my report." As she turned back the door was gone. The door behind her was just an empty field. "Oh no! Where did the door go? I swear it was right there!" She ran around the place trying to search for the door but it was nowhere to be found. She was trapped in the bizarre world. //That report is due tomorrow. How am I going to get back?.// "Wait a minute! That grape could talk! He probably saw the door, I should just ask him!" She quickly picked up the grape that was near the river. "I thought you weren't going to eat me!", the grape cried. "No, I don't want to eat you. I just want to know if you saw any door around here.". The grape simply replied, "I'm sorry to say, but I have no eyes so I didn't see your door. Are you even from this world?" Lisa sighed, "No, I'm not.". "I would've known. Everyone here knows that grapes don't have eyes.". Lisa asked the grape, "Do you how I can get back to my world?". "I'm sorry again to say I don't, but I know someone who does. His name is the Riddle Man. If you answer his riddles correctly, he'll grant you one wish.", the grape said. "I don't know where he lives but I know someone who might. Her name is Felicity and she lives down the field straight across the river, past the three apple trees in the lodge called Fiddler's Delight. She will tell you where the Riddle Man lives. Just go up and down the hills and you'll find it." Lisa thanked the grape and headed on her way down the field. She kept walking and walking but she didn't see any apple trees nor a lodge. It was completely empty. "There's no apple trees, I haven't seen any while walking up this hill." //My legs are really starting to ache alot.// "I should take a break." Lisa laid down on the grass and started to relax. She was about to doze off, until a rock hit her on the head. "Ouch!" Lisa quickly got up and looked around to see who threw the rock. "Psst, hey Lisa. You're going the wrong way." Lisa looked down at the rock. "Oh no, not another talking thing. By the way, whoever threw you has terrible aiming skills, they practically hit me in the head!", "So what, doesn't that mean my aim was good? Now quit moping and take my advice. You're going the wrong way.", the rock snapped. "But I've went down the field, just like the grape told me. I've been walking up thi--" "That's what I'm saying. You're going the wrong way. The grape said to go //down the field,// not up it! Don't you even know how to follow directions?". She looked at the rock with a confused look. "But if I go downhill, wouldn't I just be going back?". "Well, it depends on how you look at it. You can't even see the river from this point so you're pretty much lost if you keep going up. I suggest going back down to the river." The rock said. //Well, I should just take the rock's advice since I don't really know where to go.//"Sure, I'll go back to the river." Lisa tried to pick up the rock until it said, "Just leave me here on the ground. I can walk back down on my own so you just go ahead." "But rocks don't have legs." she replied back. "It's nice to know that you use your head for other things besides moping with." the rock scoffed. //What a sassy rock, I hope I don't talk to another rock like that ever again!// "Oh my goodness, look at yourself Lisa. You're talking to grapes and rocks. What kind of mess did you get yourself into?" Lisa was talking to herself. There wasn't anyone else to talk to. The field was so open, it looked more like a desert. Lisa kept walking down the field and to her surprise and relief, she found the three apples trees and the Fiddler's Delight lodge. "But where did the river go, and along with the grape tree?" She could hear the music being played down at the lodge. She ran down the hill in relief. She walked through the doors of the wooden lodge and sat at a table. It was nice to find some shade. A lady came by her table. //Hey, another person! Guess I'm not alone after all.// "So what can I get ya hon? We got the finest apple juice in the land. Would ya like some apple pie? Or maybe even apple cider?" Lisa shook her head, "Wait, you guys eat apples? They talk too, don't they?" The lady looked at her funny and laughed. "What are ya, crazy? Everyone knows that apples can't talk." Lisa was confused. "Well, what about grapes, don't they ever talk?", Lisa asked. "Well of course, what else have they got to do all day? Watch the clouds?" "Um, excuse me. Do you know a person named Felicity?" she asked. "Oh, you must be Lisa. Felicity was expecting you." //She was expecting me?// "Uh, well, can I talk to her?" "Of course, she's backstage. I would keep my distant though, she's a little cranky during the afternoon." The lady showed her to the back door. It was an old looking door. It was stained and moist. The bottom of the door was covered in moss. "I'm not allowed to go backstage, so you can just go ahead." Lisa opened the door. The knob was very cold and rusty. The rust started to stick to her hand so she wiped it on her shirt. It was annoying to look at a orange-yellowish cloud on the middle of a blue shirt, especially when it's bold. //I need to wash my pajamas when I get back home.// She walked into the room and the door slammed behind her. She heard clicks and shuffles that sounded like locks closing. She turned her head back to the door, but it wasn't there anymore. //What's with all the doors disappearing?// She looked around the room. There were bookcases with music books coated in dust. There was only one window that let the light in, which let light down on this very beautiful desk, as if it were a spotlight. It was the only furniture in the room that wasn't covered with dust. On the desk, there was a dainty looking cat with greyish-cerulean fur. It was dozing off, basking in the warm light. Lisa walked towards the desk. Behind the desk, there was a polished mahogoney chair with a small fiddle resting in the cushion of the seat. She took the cushion off the seat and laid it gently next to the cat. She sat in the chair and looked around the room. But when she tried to rest her arm on the arm rest, there was hair starting to stick to her. //Yuck, who who leave their hair on a chair? That's completely disgusting!!// She looked closer at the hair stuck to her arm. It was cat hair. //Well, a chair covered in cat hair is better than one covered in a person's.// Lisa looks at the cat. It was curled up into a furry ball, purring as it slept. She started to pet the cat as it slept. Its fur was so soft, her hand breezed through every time she brushed it. Finally, there were lights everywhere. The window closed, and the room was brighter. The cat suddenly woke up with an evil glare towards Lisa. "Why do you sit in my chair? Do you humans think that an empty chair always needs someone to sit on it? What if it said 'do not sit on me'? Would you sit on it then? Get off of it now or else." Lisa got out of the chair without hesitant. "Are you talking to me now? I thought that only grapes and rocks were the only things that could talk!" "Are you saying that cats can't talk? Humans, flowers, and watermelons can't either? Everything but apples and dogs can't talk? Heaven forbid a dog talking." "Wait a minute, are you Felicity?" The cat looked straight at her. "Of course I am. I'm Felicity, the Beautiful, Wise, Great, Dazzling, and most of all the Fiddler. Now I'm guessing you must be Lisa." Lisa was surprised by her speech, mostly because she was a cat. "How did you kn-" "I should know. All cats have esp. Some cats that don't usually have nine lives instead of ten." //Wait, I need to stay focused.// "Um, can you tell me where the Riddle Man lives? I need to see him immediately." Felicity gave Lisa a smile. "Of course, I'll tell you where somebody who know where the Riddle Man is **if** you are able to answer my question. 'Imagine that you are in a dark, cold room with no door. You have only one match. There is a stove, a lamp, and a fireplace. Which would you light first?' I'll let you guess three times." Lisa thought hard about this. "I would light the fireplace first. That way I could light the stove and the lamp as well." Felicity shook her head, as she was resting on her chair. "Well, then I would light the lamp first so I could see where I'm going." "You have one more guess. If you guess wrong, you'll never get that report done." //Doesn't that mean there's only one choice left? If I had a match and I couldn't light the fireplace or the lamp, wouldn't I just have to light the stove?// She thought about this for a couple of seconds, and suddenly said, "Oh, wait! You need to light the match first before you could light anything!" "Fine you pass. I'd say he lives somewhere in Sunflower fields. It's right behind this lodge." "First of all, how do I get out of this room?" Felicity replied, "Well, if you go through the door over there, you should be able to get out." She pointed her tail towards the window. Lisa walked towards the window, pretending that she knew what Felicity was talking about. She moved the curtain aside and she saw a small doorknob. The exact same one she turned when entering the room. Lisa looked behind her to say thank you but Felicity was gone. The fiddle, chair, desk,even some of the bookcases were missing as well. "I have to find the Riddle Man and get back to my room."

I gotta say, this is pretty good! I would be so freaked out if that happend to me. Let's see.. I absolutely loved the ending, and my only thing is maybe use more discriptive words, show not tell, like as an example: "She looked at the clock above her desk." --> " She looked at the bright red clock ticking on her dull wall, right above her desk where she was working" or something like that. Other than that, very nice. :P