Sophia's+Revised+Draft

Megan

"Please don't come over here, please don't come over here", is what she was saying in her head as a hairy old man started to approach her. Luckily he turned around and walked the other way after she ignored him. This is the type of thing Megan would go through each and every day as a little homeless girl. Being harassed and questioned many times on a daily basis making her want to give up on life already. Her life had always been so hard from the day one when her mom left her on the sidewalk near the park at the age of 8. She is now twelve and has fought for her life all along the way, making her so strong to the point where she could probably take on anything. She learned not to trust anyone, and to always keep what she had with her at all times. She lived off of what she could find on the street, in the park, but most of all, in the forest that she would visit everyday. One day when she was traveling through the forest, she decided to take a different path out of the few she would normally take. She didn't know where it would take her or how she would get back, but at this point, she didn’t really care all that much. Little did she know that she was going to find something that was going to change her life forever. As she walked down the path, she came to a giant mango tree. She was so amazed at all of the juicy mangoes that were hanging down from the tree. The first thing that came to mind was how she could live off of these mangoes if she ate a couple everyday. However, she couldn't possibly eat all of those mangoes, and they would eventually get overripe and rot. Then all of a sudden, a fantastic idea popped into her mind. She wanted to somehow sell those mangoes to make money. And the ones that didn't get sold, she could eat herself. The next step was how she could make that idea become reality. She knew that a fruit stand would be the best option, however, she didn’t know how exactly she would make that fruit stand without any of the materials. She thought about it for a while, and then she remembered that there was a dump about a mile down the street. Even though she wasn’t sure what she would find there, she supposed it was her best option. When she got to the dump, she mainly saw old rusty metal pieces, cars, and plastic things. She didn’t see much wood, nails, hammers or anything else you would need to create a fruit stand. However, after digging around for a few hours, she managed to find about 10 pieces of wood, 19 nails, and an old rusted hammer. She hoped that it would be enough to build a decent stand. When she got back to the park, she started building her stand. It took her a while to figure out how she was going to make it, but after trying different ways of putting it together, she ended up with a nice, tall fruit stand. She hid her fruit stand in a play structure where she had been building it and ran back into the forest to collect some mangoes. Once she got back, she immediately started to move the fruit stand on to the sidewalk so she could start to load the mangoes. After loading about 25 mangoes, she went back into the play structure and ate an extra mango while watching the stand. Then she realized that the people wont know how much to pay for the mangoes unless there is a price. So she scavenged around the park until she found a pen with little ink in it, but it did the job. She marked the stand saying 2 for $1, and then went back to the play structure. It seemed like years until her first customer came. But when she saw the man putting a dollar into the stand, it was the most excitement she had had for a long time. She sprinted to the stand to collect that dollar right away. For the rest of the week she did the same thing everyday. Run into the forest to collect fruit, fill her stand, and collect the money. It was as if she had a job or something. She was so successful with her fruit stand that she was able to save some of the money that she made. With the rest of the money, she mainly just bought food everyday at the supermarket about a ½ mile down the road. She was also able to buy a new outfit for herself at the Salvation Army a block away from the park. She was very pleased with her decision to make a fruit stand and even hoped that she would eventually be able to get a job and maybe even own an apartment later on in life. About two weeks after she had started to sell the mangoes, she saw a young lady, a man and a little girl approach the fruit stand. The lady looked so familiar but she wasn't exactly sure why. Then it hit her, that lady was her mother. She remembered the heart bracelet that she always wore everywhere. "MOM!!!!!!" she yelled as she ran up to the lady. The lady gave her a look as if she once knew her, and then said to her daughter, "Now Suzie, when homeless people do these kinds of things to you, all you have to do is walk away. I mean, you wouldn't want to catch a disease or something." Right at that point, tears started streaming down Megan's face uncontrollably. Her own mother who had found a new family had just rejected her. She cried for days after that and then she just got mad at the whole situation. She knew now that she really was on her own and she needed to sell as many fruits as she could because she determined make the best out of her lonely life. She ran back into the forest, loaded up her shirt with mangoes and ran back to the play structure to drop them off. She did this many times until she felt so tired that she thought she was going to faint. Once she had filled the stand with mangoes, she watched over the fruit stand like a hawk, making sure no one was to steal anything from her.

I like it! I also commented on your other one, so you can look at that too. I think it's a good story.

2 YEARS LATER She was now 14 and even stronger than before. She had about 300 dollars in profit from the mangoes that she had sold over the years. She wasn't scared of anything anymore. She was an independent young lady who knew what she was striving for. She applied to a couple of the stores near by for a job such as the PETS4LIFE store, Jamba Juice, and Bob's Mart. She was very successful with finding a job. She was asked to work at Bob's Mart and Jamba Juice. She decided that Jamba Juice would be a better working environment and started to work there 5 times a week from 8 to 2 in the afternoon. She was in love with her new job because it paid her well, and she could get discounted Jamba Juices which she loved. She didn’t want to forget about the fruit stand, so on the days she wouldn’t work at Jamba Juice, she would load the stand with fruit and sell her mangoes. In the end, she meets a guy who also works at Jamba Juice and they start to have a thing. When he finds out that she lives in the park he feels awful and invites her to live with him. They end up dating and later on getting married when she turns 20. She slowly works her way up to becoming the manager of Jamba Juice, which is a job that she was so pleased to have. Even though she ended up throwing away her fruit stand, she still remembered it and was so thankful for where it leaded her.